In the second decade of the 21st century, networks went virtual. In the third decade, COVID arrived, and meetings went the same way. But we’re all pretending COVID isn’t a thing any more, so in-person is back, baby! That means lots of cement fortresses, escalators to heaven and hallways painted institutional green.
For this top 10 list, the Silverlinings editorial team ranks its least favorite trade show locations of all time.
1. NEC Birmingham, Birmingham, England, U.K.
Why: It's in Birmingham and engenders a profound sense of ennui and loss in all who visit it.
2. Javits Center, New York City
Why: The same designer as the 1986 Buick LeSabre.
3. The Las Vegas Convention Center, Las Vegas (obviously)
Why: Want to host a tech sausage party in the middle of the Mars desert? Welcome to Vegas! World famous for its gambling and prostitution. You stay classy, Nevada.
4. McCormick Place, Chicago, Illinois
Why: The Candlestick Park of convention centers. Exhibitors won’t lift a finger while they’re here … finger lifts are charged at the union rate of $750 each.
5. Kay Bailey Hutchison Convention Center Dallas, Dallas, Texas (obviously)
Why: Cement - check. Locker room green walls - check. 70’s music arena - check. Linoleum basement - check. Most likely to be haunted by the ghost of Eddie Van Halen.
6. Hannover Fairground Convention Center, Hannover, Germany
Why? 12 mega halls. The wurst!
7. Moscone Center, San Francisco, California
Why: Went full dystopian nightmare decades before the rest of the city where the streets are paved in human poop. Battle hordes of insane vagrants and entitled preppy webscale zillionaires to reach it.
8. San Jose McEnery Convention Center, San Jose, California
Why? Acres and acres of patchwork carpet in a myriad of shades of gray. So much gray.
9. ExCeL London, London, U.K.
Why: The dead end of the Playmobil DLR monorail line. Watch out for mudlarks on the banks of the Thames, and stabby teenage bandits on stolen scooters. Unnecessary capital letters in the middle of words - grrrrr.
10. Tampa Convention Center, Tampa, Florida
Why? It’s in Florida. Also, according to Freedom11317’s review on TripAdvisor: “Plan on it taking over an hour to find a parking spot blocks and blocks away. The people that work there are extremely rude! And not a single decent place to eat. Minimal vegetarian options and lost [sic] fried food that you pay an arm and a leg for (though to be expected at a convention center) I would never come if it weren't for being forced to for events. Piss poor management of a facility with a great location! They aren't doing anything right.”
Did we miss one? Have you seen the ghost of EVH somewhere else? Send us your most-hated convention center via a letter to the editors here.